Joy Doesn’t Depend On Perfect Behavior

Though right living enhances joy, no person can attain perfect behavior all the time. Joy must be found in a source other than our behavior. When would you be able to rejoice and have great joy if it depended on perfect behavior? Striving toward perfectionism you cannot attain, keep, control, or manage may push you toward losing your joy. Philippians 4:4 states, “Rejoice in the Lord, always.” Some translations render it as, “Rejoice always.” How many have ever accomplished that? If you are to live Christianity to the fullest, you must rejoice always. This is not a suggestion, it is a command. How can you do that? Can you rejoicing always for seven straight days? Then why are we commanded to rejoice always? “let your gentleness be known to all men, the Lord is at hand, be anxious for … [Read more...]

Peace and Satisfaction In This World?

Why are Christians not in the least embarrassed over the absence of peace and rest in their lives? Jesus clearly tells us that it is His intention for us to move through this world peacefully and cheerfully, untroubled and unafraid as long as we look to Him to enable us. With such a resource readily available, I am overwhelmed by the absence of personal peace and by the level of misery under which Christians are willing to live. They don’t seem the least bit embarrassed or hesitant to declare: • “I’m under stress.” • “I’m worried.” • “I’m so unhappy.” • “I’m afraid.” • “I’m pretty anxious.” • “I’m angry!” • “I can’t get along with him (her).” Yet, Jesus gives clear direction when it comes to the issue of peace. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not … [Read more...]

Pouting and Sulking

Pouting and sulking are people's attempt to get their own way. Pouting is selfishness. Have you ever been around people who sulk or pout? Most of the people I counsel are adults and many are experts at pouting. If I say something in a counseling situation that they do not like, they show their displeasure by protruding the lips. The Look What does pouting look like? 1. To exhibit displeasure or disappointment; sulk. 2. To protrude the lips in an expression of displeasure or sulkiness. You can recognize it in others. At what age is it acceptable to pout when you don’t get what you want? It is used by children and adults alike. People pout and continue unacceptable behavior because it has worked in the past. The real reason people use this as acceptable behavior is because of their sinful … [Read more...]

Four Counseling Factors

The four counseling factors are essential when helping others. Dealing with individuals and their needs is more a matter of getting across a message than following a single established method. Each person will follow his own distinctive way and use his own choice of words. Many times it is like kneading dough. It takes effort to make sure the truth penetrates the counselee’s entire thinking, attitudes, and feelings. But even so, the following basic factors are essential in effective counseling: Counseling Factor 1: Be Compassionate To be an effective counselor, you must be a loving, compassionate person. You must love the counselee enough to present him with God’s truth regardless of what the truth may suggest for him. When the rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked what he must do … [Read more...]

God’s Path Is Safe

My eyes are ever toward the LORD, for He shall pluck my feet out of the net. Psalm 25:15 Imagine walking through the forest along a path that is not well defined. Concern for staying on the path would be your focus, lest you step into a hole or become disoriented and lost. If you knew that there were many animal traps set, it would make you even more alert and cautious. Knowing this, instead of taking a relaxing walk, your concern would be to scope out the area and make sure that you avoid those traps! Learning to scope out and avoid traps can be quite exhausting. Your mind, emotions, and physical skills become highly alert, knowing you can still miss a trap and become ensnared. Satan has set many traps for God’s people. His traps tend to be highly camouflaged. How do we avoid these … [Read more...]

What is the Difference Between the Indwelling of the Spirit and Being Filled by the Spirit?

Truly it is impossible to live the Christian life in your own human strength. The Christian life depends upon the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of a believer. With that in mind, what is the difference between the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and being filled with the Spirit? What Does Indwelling Mean? This indwelling occurs when we first believe. It does not occur twenty years later but rather when you are born again. (Rom. 5:5, 2 Tim. 2:4) The indwelling of the Holy Spirit occurs one time. It is once for all. When Jesus Christ comes into your life as your Lord and Savior, His Spirit takes up permanent residence in you. The indwelling of the Holy Spirit is for all believers. Simply claiming to be a Christian does not necessarily mean you are a Christian (Matt. … [Read more...]

Pressure!

Feeling the pressure of the moment? Is your job bringing an over abundance of pressure? What about your health, children, or other relationships? Pressure comes in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Sometimes the pressure comes over you like a dark cloud surprising you in such a way that you can’t determine the source of the problem. Physical Pressure A few years ago, my wife Elaine began to feel pressure around her neck, across her shoulders, and then in her chest. Where did it come from? Many suggested to her that it was panic or stress that caused the problem. Friends gathered around us with focused prayer and care. As we examined what was going on in our lives, we knew that our work in ministry was at a wonderful level, our family was fine, and our marriage had never been better. We … [Read more...]

Joy Requires God’s Reservoir

Joy does not come from a discouraged soul. Joy requires God's reservoir of help. Our world needs needs a good dose of these virtues: love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Most mental-health workers would agree with that statement. We would, however, sharply disagree on how to generate such virtues. If you were an atheist, your only option would be to find a way to create an environment that will either produce these qualities inside a person or release them from within a person, assuming something is blocking their release. I spoke with a man who wished that he had love, joy, and peace in his home. While the man had great wealth, he realized that he could not find a doctor, counselor, or a retail store where he could buy … [Read more...]

Encouragement for the Discouraged

Is there anyone who doesn't need encouragement? Encouragement helps to bring the discouraged out of despair. The Scripture states, My soul melts from heaviness; strengthen me according to Your word. Psalm 119:28 One writer said, “Flatter me and I may not believe you. Criticize me and I may not like you. Ignore me and I may not forgive you. Encourage me and I may not forget you.” Encouragement really is the spice of life. A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more that an hour of praise after success. Three Key Truths About Encouragement 1. Spend time with the right people! Maybe you are going through a discouraging time in your life and need strong encouragement from your friends. To be encouraged you must spend time with people who are like-minded; who have the same … [Read more...]

The Heart of the Problem (Anger-part 5 of 5)

The Heart of the Problem is the Problem of the Heart! *This five-part series is an overview of The Heart of the Problem book/workbook. If you discover help in these articles, I encourage you to purchase the workbook at www.kerryskinner.com/books and go deeper in your discovery. For detailed training as a biblical counselor, see https://thinklifechange.com/our-program/ Dealing with anger is the single greatest issue that comes to the consulting room. Though many deny it to be their problem, many more realize that it is the problem. If the article is helpful to you, please forward it to your friends, or post it on facebook, linked in, or twitter. God bless you in your studies! Anger is One Letter Away from Danger! Have you ever lost your keys? What was your response? Have you … [Read more...]

View Menu